Sometimes after work I like to stop by the mall and get some self-serve frozen yogurt. In the last year or two I have increasingly become more of a fan of the product.
Due to widespread popularity, numerous Fro-Yo places have opened up; each one having their own selections of flavors and a myriad of toppings. When you go to a different location each time you always need to take a few minutes to survey the “lay of the land” and decide what you want.
A recent trip to Yogen Fruz got me thinking about my “keys to success” for yogurt selection at whichever store/chain you are located:
- Do not put too much yogurt in your cup. Otherwise, you won’t be able to afford dinner. This is a big rookie mistake.
- Never go with more than 2 flavors of yogurt. JUST TRUST ME ON THIS ONE, OKAY? IT MAKES TOTAL SENSE. I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS ONE TO YOU.
- Toppings are the key, but you never want go with more than 4 different ones. Otherwise, everything will blend together all weird and it will just taste like you are only eating sugar.
- Make sure to change up your topping textures/styles. You don’t need to include 3 types of similar breakfast cereals. You’re not in 3rd grade anymore.
- Chocolate syrups has been showing up at more places as of late. Just avoid it at all costs. Putting that crap on top of your yogurt basically states that you don’t care for the rest of what you put together and that you gave up in life.
- Do not get tricked by usual toppings that show up at other yogurt places in different colors. Cookie Dough will taste the same regardless of whether it is yellow or green. (I sadly mad this mistake recently)
- Some places have their own “personal mixes”. Shut your butt with that. Self-serve yogurt is basically the definition of the first amendment. I can make whatever I want and I don’t need your big brother oversight.
- This is last one is just my own personal preference. If a specific self-serve yogurt place doesn’t have Mochi as a topping, then they can self serve their own ass to themselves. (I am talking to you, TCBY)
Well there you have it, folks. There is my own personal self-serve yogurt survival guide. This one took more than 30 minutes to write, but I am passionate about dessert based things, so we will let this one slide.
(Above listed tips are just my opinion. You have the right to disagree with them, but please note that will just mean you are probably wrong or whatever)